The Name Game

 Alexander Cruz Higgs was not the name I was born with. Rather this starts the same way all the stories of my life start. With me not being in the United States, but rather in the small town of San Andres, El Petén, Guatemala. I was born into the world being called, Alexander Cruz Gutierrez, Cruz was my biological mothers middle name. The funny thing is that Gutierrez is one of the only Spanish words I can pronounce without sounding like the whitest person in the world. It flows off my tongue as if it was what I was meant to say. For the time being my name is Alexander Cruz Higgs

Names are weird things, we just look at something and call it by a name and all the sudden it has a place on our heart. The name then morphs into whatever has it. Meaning that when you hear that name you can immediately associate it with that person or thing and if it isn’t in reference to that specific object it really confuses you. Names usually come from a deep part of a person for example when a parent names their child they usually think of a name that has a significant meaning to them. Maybe after a relative, a specific moment, or a flower anything that brings happiness to them. The child would then have to live with whatever name is given to them, and start to change the past memories that were associated with the name and make new ones and redefine that name. That being said sometimes names just don’t belong to people.

For example, when I was first adopted my adoptive mother wanted to name me Zander. It’s hard for me to imagine this because I can only think of myself as Alexander, or Alex. Thinking that I could have had a different name completely changes what I think of the world. My name would have been way more unique, I am yet to meet another Zander, and I would never mistake my name for someone else’s. I am called Zander but that is only by my immediate family, and honestly, I wouldn’t mind if my really close friends called me it, but it’s a name that not everyone is allowed to use. It also doesn’t feel like my name, I didn’t do anything to earn it, I didn’t shape that name into a human being it is simply just a name that another child should get the choice to mold. I like Alexander.

The name Alexander is a strong and powerful name. Some of the most successful people that helped shape the world we lived in were named by that name. Alexander means “Defender of man” or “Protector of the People”. Most people don’t pay attention to the original meaning of one’s name. But if they were it might help them understand the person better. I personally believe I was named the right name, I like to do everything I can do to help people. Yes, I might not be fighting off waves and waves of aliens and saving the people of Chicago, but I think I do my part in protecting people. Even the simplest names have a deep meaning, like John for example means to be gracious. This is only on a first name basis though, on average people have 3 names: a first, middle, and Last. That doesn’t mean that everybody has 3. Some may have 4 and so on.

My middle name is Cruz. It is the only Hispanic name that identifies me as a Hispanic person in my opinion. I remember one date distinctly in elementary school. It was my birthday, October 18. And I had to get up early and dress up fancily get in the car and drive to Chicago. When this was happening to me I had no idea what was happening. My mother just gave me some clothes including a clip-on tie and she combed my hair. I got in the back seat with my brother and the black Toyota Echo was on the road. We arrived to what I assume was a court house and we went in. I sat in the lobby with my brother being bored out of my mind. My mom had told me in the car that I was going to be called in and they were going to ask me a few questions on including which middle name I wanted; Cruz or James. I didn’t understand the significance of this at the time but I knew I wanted to be called Cruz. My adoptive brother’s middle name was James and his had an “A” name as well so that would make the initials the exact same thing. I thought it would be cool to have the same name as my brother but when they asked me the question something inside me told me to say “Cruz” and that’s how Cruz is my middle name.

 This just leaves one more name that I have, my last name. The last name I have now isn’t too common, or at least not to my knowledge. I have never met another Higgs who isn’t in my family. Yes, there is this thing called the “Higgs Bosom” but I have never met the creator of that idea, and no I am not related to them. The only reason why I resent my last name is because it kind of gets rid the last bit of my ancestry. It was the last thing connecting me from the Guatemalan roots, but now it’s all gone. If I were to visit I would be known as “Mr. Higgs” and they would never think that I was born there. When I grow up and have kids of my own I want to give them Gutierrez, or give myself it. They are some of the most opposite names though. Higgs an uncommon English name and Gutierrez a common Spanish last name. 

That is the story of my name to my the best of my knowledge. Now I must ask, do you like your name? Would you change it? What's the story behind your name? Is there ever a name you hear and then just fall in love with it?